May I Have Your Hand
I met my husband John Burnside July 6‚ 1991‚ while rollerblading in Central Park with a friend. It was a beautiful summer day that would end up changing my life forever. My friend and I came around to East 72nd Street‚ and decided to see what band was playing at the staging area‚ and there he was‚ a tall handsome young officer. We asked who the band was‚ and he was only too happy to reply. One conversation led to the next‚ to the question of what are you girls doing tonight. Never thinking we would really all meet up‚ we shared our plans with John and his partner and sure enough at 9 PM sharp he walked in the door of Ryan McFadden’s. I can remember to this day the smile on his face as he walked through the door‚ and knew instantly that this was a person who touched others’ lives‚ no matter how brief the encounter.
I think I knew by the second date that I would spend the rest of my life with this wonderful man‚ who his friends affectionately referred to as ‘Johnny the Gent.’ I guess‚ the moment that stands out the most for me on that second date would be the cab ride downtown. We arrived at our destination‚ and Johnny‚ of course‚ paid the driver‚ and then got out of the cab‚ turned to reach back into the cab with his extended hand‚ looked into my eyes‚ and said‚ ‘May I have your hand?’ I always knew throughout our relationship if I could only take his hand everything would be O.K. That theme played out in our relationship over and over‚ even on our wedding day. I knew if I could only make it up the aisle and take his hand the rest would be O.K.‚ because he had me. It’s those small intimate moments you realize now that meant the most and are missed the most.
They say‚ some people know their destiny at that moment. On our second date I realized my destiny would include this extraordinary man. Through our many years of dating‚ engagement and marriage‚ I saw a man who had so many dimensions. He loved music and creating it with his most prized possession‚ his guitar (which eventually moved to the #2 position)‚ a fanatic love for football and the Minnesota Vikings (this became increasingly painful with each Super Bowl loss)‚ his love for history‚ geography‚ computers‚ and reading anything of interest. He possessed a determination to always do the right thing‚ and treat others with respect. It’s these qualities that I think drew him to his profession as a New York City firefighter. John loved being a fireman‚ and would say to me on many occasions when I questioned why he needed to be a fireman‚ ‘Sandra‚ how many people do you know who are truly satisfied and fulfilled in the profession they choose. I am‚ and that’s a gift.’ I try to constantly remind myself of those words on days when his sacrifice seems too great and overwhelming.
John spent the last year-and-a-half studying for the Lieutenant’s exam‚ which was scheduled on October 13‚ 2001. I was so proud of him‚ and knew that some group of young firemen would some day benefit from him being their officer. You see‚ John would never ask someone to do something he wouldn’t. He was calm‚ level-headed‚ intelligent‚ and always thought things through. I can remember the conversations John would have with his father about the Fire Department and his upcoming exam‚ and know his parents were extremely proud of him. John always talked about his profession with a smile on his face‚ left for work with a positive attitude and returned home most days the same way‚ except a little tired. I miss the sound of the key in the door at 7 PM‚ and the stories he would tell me about his day‚ over dinner‚ whether it was a water leak‚ E.M.S. run‚ fire‚ or just some wackiness that took place at the firehouse. I’m sure that on September 11‚ John answered his last call just as he would any other call‚ thinking that he was going to help someone and make a difference for that day. He and so many others did make a difference that day‚ and I try to tell myself it is not all in vain. I think John would want to be remembered simply as a man who always tried to do the honorable thing.
I know that John will always be remembered by his loving family‚ friends‚ colleagues and anyone who was fortunate enough to know him. I have a lifetime of wonderful memories‚ vacations and family events that I hope will put a smile on my face in the days to come as I remember each moment in and of itself. There are just too many to ever put on paper or to convey the love I feel in my heart for this wonderful man I called my best friend‚ husband‚ and confidant. I know my husband will forever be a part of history‚ and people will talk about this horrific event for years to come. I know our families will try to explain to the nieces and nephews for years to come just simply what an outstanding person Uncle Johnny was‚ and how very much he loved us all. Till we meet again in another life‚ my love.
-Sandra Burnside
Hello– today I participated in a 9-11 memorial stair climb, and was given a photo of John Patrick Burnside to carry up the 110 flights. I was interested to learn more about this handsome firefighter who lost his life on that day, so I found this page in a search. He sounds like an incredible man. I’m so sorry for your loss, but I thank you for sharing with all of us a little bit about his life and character. It makes honoring his sacrifice and that of so many others that much more meaningful. Lots of love from Reno, Nevada to you and your family as you continue to heal.
– Arianna BennettToday in Green Bay, Wisconsin! I climbed for your love one! I was proud to wear his badge as I climbed 110 floors! I did make it all the way without stopping because I kept looking at my badge and it pushed me! I’m sorry for your loss but you should be proud of him for having one of the tuffest jobs ever
– Madelyn HeenanJohnny B I still think about the times we had in the firehouse. You and Bobby Mac were my best friends in that house. You’ll always be missed.
– ArissonaI was honored to carry John Patrick Burnside’s photo with me as I climbed the 110 flights of stairs today at Red Rocks. The Memorial Stair Climb was truly inspirational. Thank you for sharing a part of him with us. He will never be forgotten. With love from Colorado.
– DianeIn 2015, I was honored to carry an ID badge with John Patrick Burnside’s name and picture on it. I climbed 110 flights of stairs at Lambeau Field in Green Bay Wisconsin to honor his memory. His sacrifice will never be forgotten.
– Chris McDanielI was honored to climb for John Patrick Burnside today. I am also married to a firefighter and cannot imagine the sacrifice you have made for others. I can only hope that the fact that he was remembered todat may help to lighten your load in some small way.
– Shawn MagbanuaMuch love from Indianapolis!
Yesterday 28 April 2017 I had the privilege to carry the ID badge of Firefighter Ladder 20 John Patrick Burnside at the FDIC 9/11 Memorial Stair Climb in Indianapolis. It was an honor for me to participate in this wonderful event to pay our respect for these fallen hero’s. My thoughts and prayers go out to John’s family and Firefighter brother and sisters. God bless from Ken in Amboy Indiana.
– Kenneth PinaireYesterday, August 8, 2017, I was honored and privileged to have been able to carry this amazing hero, John Burnside up to the top of the 110 grueling stories of stairs. I’m not a firefighter, but a local artist who was challenged by one of New Orleans’ firefighters who organized our city’s 9/11 memorial stair climb. When asked to paint an oxygen tank for this inspirational event, how could anyone say no. Being a part of this experience has changed my life. John’s legacy will continue to live on and inspire people to live selflessly and treat others with kindness. Prayers of comfort to Sandra and the rest of John’s family and friends. John, you’ll never be forgotten <3
– Becky FosGod bless from New Orleans a.k.a. "Nawlins"
Today I ran the Tunnel to Tower 5k in Pike County, Pennsylvania. I had the honor and privilege to carry John Patrick Burnside with me when I ran. I am a middle school Language Arts teacher in Jersey City, NJ. I saw the twin towers burn on that awful day. Tomorrow, September 11, 2017 I will be wearing his photo around my neck, and will be speaking about your husband. We will never forget your husband, and the courage that he had. He will not be forgotten!
– Marie BrustowiczToday at school in North Wildwood, New Jersey I was honored to carry a picture of John Burnside with me as I climbed 110 flights of stairs. Everytime I took a look at his picture it made me just want to keep going and never stop. Thank you for sharing with us. John will never be forgotten!
– LexiToday, September 16, 2017, I had the privilege to carry the ID badge of Firefighter Ladder 20 John Patrick Burnside at the Step Up for Heroes event in Sioux Falls, SD. It was an honor for me to participate in this wonderful event to pay our respect for these fallen hero’s. My thoughts and prayers go out to John’s family and Firefighter brother and sisters.
– Lisa ParkerSending prayers from South Dakota!! ??
I carried John’s badge at the 9/11 stair climb at Lambeau Field in Green Bay. It was an honor to carry the badge with his name on it. It is sad that so many lives were lost on that day. I will never forget my fallen brothers.
– Gene RoederToday I participated in a 9/11 Memorial Stair Climb in San Diego, Ca with my husbands fire department. I had the priveledge and honor to carry John Patrick Burnside’s picture and climb in his honor! I immediately came home & googled his name wanting to know more about the man I was climbing for. Sounds like an amazing guy who was taken from this world way too early. I take comfort though in knowing that he was doing what he loved!
– Amy FrederickToday I was honored to carry Firefighter John Burnside’s id badge for the Nashville 9-11 Stairclimb. I picked him from the table because I thought it was a cool picture. He looked tough and I needed that to get me through the 110 floors. I found this site because I wanted to know more about him. I thank you for the honor of carrying his memory and keeping me motivated. Never forget all of our fallen brothers and sisters!
– Shane EatonI meet John Burnside parents last month,and had them to my house for dinner tonight to celebrate my brother’s birthday. It so happens we lived in same neighborhood in Indwood NYC and went to same church. John also went to Good Shepard grade school as me, but I am much older. I wish I knew John, but I meet his great Mom And Dad, they are great. May God Bless them all and the USA ❤️5/8/19
– Tom HoranOn September 8,2019 I had the honor of carrying John Patrick Burnsides ID for 110 flights for the Richmond 9/11 memorial stair climb. I looked him up because i wanted to know more about the person I was honoring and I’m glad I did. He seemed like an amazing man and husband. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. 18 years later and we will Never Forget!
– LetishiaHi, this past weekend I climbed for your husband. His face and your words are what pushed my 110 flights. So, thank you both and I’m so sorry for your loss. We will always remember.
– AshleyI walked 110 floors yesterday in honor and memory of John Patrick Burnside. Never forgotten. Blessings to you and yours.
– Paul BarnesEvery year I scroll through the list of names and randomly stop on 1 person. This year 2020, I stopped on John’s name. I will learn all that I can about him. He will not be forgotten!
– Amy KnowlesAs a long time resident of NYC, I was in the area that tragic day when all those firefighters lining up to go in the towers… Looking at all the different names on all the bottom of their coats. Burnside was one that I remember living in Bronx, NY on Burnside Ave. I went 2 visit memorial looking for that name I saw that day and I found it John Patrick Burnside. May you rest in peace. I just felt I had a connection with that firefighter. So brave, he left an impression on me that I will never forget. RIP…
– Ramon santiagoI’m just a random stranger who heard about John in a Reddit thread, but I wanted to say that his sacrifice has reached more people than you, his friends and family, could ever know. I hope that you can find some comfort in knowing that his name and story are still being shared around the world almost 20 years after his passing.
– JodiSaturday marks 20 years since that horrid day. I’ll be participating in the Tucson, AZ stair event at our Convention Center, wearing a badge with John’s picture and name on it. He was 36 years old. We are close in age. So very young. Handsome young man. Tonight I’m looking him up to learn more about him.
– Julie PrinceBeautiful heartfelt words here Sandra. So very sorry for your family’s loss and the pain this time of year must bring to you. Hopefully by now you smile or lol more often than cry when you think of John.
We will never forget.
20 years and we still remember. Your bravery is an inspiration to us all. Your actions were courageous and selfless. Thank you for being a hero in every sense of the word, we will never forget.
– Maria GrecoI was in fourth grade on 9/11, growing up close to the city in NJ. While I remember that day vividly, I came across your husbands memorial on Facebook.
I’m 29 now, not much younger than your husband was, and as an EMT and nurse, I commend him for his bravery. But I also commend you for your resilience and strength.
Your memorial to John is breathtaking and shows how deeply in love you are. Thank you for sharing John with us.
– Kenzie LaneOn this 21-year anniversary of John’s death, your firefighter family will honor these brave young men. We will never forget!!!
– Lisa HopmanHi I just wanted to reach out to let you know I wore your husbands badge proudly today as I ran the Towers to Tunnels 5K in Bluffton, SC this am. I’m not a fast runner and I’m fact prior to July this year I never ran and never thought I would.
– Jenifer KlepeskyMy beautiful daughter Madison Klepesky was a runner and very into fitness. She was 18 years old, a freshman at University of South Carolina in Bluffton, SC. She met her true love JonPaul Gonzalez aka “Jonny” who was also a freshman. They were on their way to a bonfire with friends and a multi offender dui driver who was both high and drunk came speeding down the road she was crossing when he veered into the left lane and tboned her car killing them both on 12/4/21 forever changing the lives of both our families. We are slowly creeping up on the one year mark. And I don’t miss her any less, but definitely more.
Madison’s death inspired me to run, to run for her. I run for her every time with her photo in my pocket. It was my honor to run for your sweet husband today whose name lead me to pick his badge thinking of Jonny and Madison. I will continue to run with his badge. I will run for your Jonny as well as my Madison and her Jonny. Sending love and hugs from Beaufort, SC.